Bereavement Companion & Somatic Grief Work

The Collective Wisdom of Group Work

Bereavement companionship circles offer a safe haven for the bereft to share vulnerable grief stories associated with a significant loss of a loved one. The collective wisdom of the group springs forth from the tapestry of interweaving grief stories. Connections are deeply cultivated in group storytelling and leaves participants feeling less isolated along their grief journey. 

 The word bereavement comes from the root word “reave” with a literal meaning of being torn apart. The shock of losing a significant love relationship may feel crushing, daunting and disordered in diverse and unpredictable expressions of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. In the face of adversity, one may feel isolated in their grief. 

As each grief story unfolds within the group session, the circle facilitator observes the pendular swing between a sense of gratitude when recalling cherished loving memories to a feeling of being stuck in the overwhelm of despair over their loss. The body has the capacity to experience both resilience and grief bursts on a visceral level. How do we describe the physical heart pain that resides in the body? Where do we find the words to describe the pain? What is the numbing silence within trying to tell us? How does unresolved grief trigger contraction of chest and heart? How do we tap into our resilience to adapt our grief bursts into a healthy homeostasis of calm reflection? Answers to these questions reside in the uniqueness of each individual’s personal journey and are found through curious exploration. The socratic approach of compassionate inquiry supports exploration of the interwoven tapestry of the body’s somatic emotional connections.

How do we pendulate between grief and gratitude with grace? 

The bereavement circle facilitator models an explorative empathetic curiosity within the group dynamic. Their commitment to uphold a compassionate communication space is exhibited in a non-judgemental nurturance. The circle agreement to suspend judgement supports silent empathetic witnessing which serves everyone’s need to trust. When the group’s intention is anchored in trust, a safe space is created for uninhibited vulnerabilities to be unleashed into the circle of grief companions.

Building trust is a preliminary step for the transformative mourning process to unfold safely. An open invitation to share a nurturing breath and a somatic grounding exercise cultivates mindfulness and presence within the group dynamic. Breathing deeply together nurtures the group’s intention to heal together. Practicing the silent breath work in the group builds comfort in body and mind: Sitting in silence within the group offers space and time to magnify the body’s feeling experience. As we give ourselves permission to embrace grief in the silence, we expand our capacity to access and tap into the emotional and physical responses reverberating in the cells of our soma. Engaging in a mindful presence expands one’s capacity of attuned observation of their inner landscape. 

Intentionally welcoming our grief requires courage to go where one has ever gone before: To embrace the intelligent inner space where the answers reside - a space where people become their own explorative pioneer of their emotional-somatic presence.

The empathetic witness gently asks for permission to mirror emotions and physical responses throughout the session. Through modeling compassionate curiosity, mirroring and active listening; the co-regulation of participant and facilitator’s emotional-somatic energy exchange is validated. Mirroring the bereft’s words and posture strengthens the integral relationship anchored by the sincerity found in trusting empathetic connection. Sincerity in trust magnifies the transformative potential within the healing process. 

The bereft’s work is to remain curious about how to unveil the messages of their buried emotions and somatic responses. Articulating how the body physically feels, holds onto and/or releases emotion is difficult to depict from the somatic maze of bodily biofeedback. Being able to focus on the grief in the safety of the present moment , gives one time to untangle the labyrinth of sensations in the felt sense and the myriad of emotions attached. Humans sharing this deep sense of connection opens the door to embrace a resilient transformative process. Companioning the bereft in welcoming their grief encourages them to befriend the pain with compassion. This co-regulation exercised within the relationship is a deeply rewarding transformative experience.

Navigating the mystery of deep seated pain and complex feelings associated with loss is no small feat. Experiencing loss is never easy and the outward expression can be expressed as bitter-sweet, especially when acknowledging the pain is due to loving someone so very deeply. 

Discovering a revitalized sense of authenticity and confidence in expression along each unique grief journey is the sweet reward found in this work. Authentic expression and unearthing awareness of how grief emotions are held in the body, springs forth a resolution in understanding the process of healing heart and mind. Understanding brings forth an enlightened awareness- this enlightenment is a form of resilience and is a profound aspect of the grief process that requires a focus. 

Honouring the collective wisdom that rises forth through vulnerable narratives helps each participant to feel less isolated in the grief.  Given the opportunity to witness this intelligence is a deeply rewarding and humbling gift to receive by all involved in the circle.